The dreams are back. They come and go but I think they are back. Vivid like dream which are so real and close to my real life that I am never sure if I dreamt them or they actually happened. Some of the time I only realise they were a dream when something happens or someone tells me something for the first time - but yet I know....
Last night a lovely lady subtly explained that eating fish is not good. All she did was right at the end of the dream she asked is anyone vegetarian whilst holding a board with anti-fishing quotes. She didn't say anything about it and I only saw the board for about 3 seconds but it's the only thing I remember clearly. The thing is it was the next step in my becoming vegetarian plan. I was allowing seafood as I had not research the alternatives and also not being so familiar with the shops here in the UK I wanted to make sure I was still getting a balanced meal. But I have not started the research and even though I have not eaten meat since I have been back I have not taken the next step. Anyway I know this is a message - noted universe and I am on it ....
Monday, July 13, 2009
i NEVER want a boyfriend
I don't get them...... boys that is.
I don't think I have met many who are not driven by their penis or completely emotionally inept. Yes there are exceptions - not many - but I think I am starting to lose respect, faith and understanding for men.
The reason I bring this up is because well I don't want this to happen and I know this is my issue which is attracting the bad/confused/negative and building my walls. I'm creating bad boy vibes in my life - very bad ones which are unbalancing others relationships.
I don't think I have met many who are not driven by their penis or completely emotionally inept. Yes there are exceptions - not many - but I think I am starting to lose respect, faith and understanding for men.
The reason I bring this up is because well I don't want this to happen and I know this is my issue which is attracting the bad/confused/negative and building my walls. I'm creating bad boy vibes in my life - very bad ones which are unbalancing others relationships.
You did what ??? Why would you do that??
How many times have you said 'But why would they do that?', "What were they thinking?', 'Why would anyone say that?' and how many times have you applied the same questions to your own actions. Much of the time it's dismissed 'They were drunk', "I was tired".... but no negative action comes without some kind of history which lead to the 'INCIDENT'.
The reason I brought this up is because this Friday we had our works dinner. For some unexplained reason I felt the need make a beeline to the CEO and tell him 1) I am a great manipulator, 2) Sex does sell 3) Buying smart clothes for women is really hard if you have small shoulders and big boobs..... and although I said nothing too vulgar nor swear - I'm sure I said some other awful things whilst his wife practically stood there with her mouth open in shock and some tubby guy almost stood on top of me.
So I ask myself that question - why would I do that??? I have never met him before, he has no idea that I mad but completely harmless yet I make sure that his first impression of me is of such a self centred, opinionated twat he would ask the question 'Why would I want this liability in my company?'. As my hangover well and truly sets in as I drive down the M25 rain pounding on my windscreen I scream 'It's too hard to think about right now' and I tell myself to concentrate on the road, but as I curl up in the back of my car in a random car park on the way to my cousins for a cheeky nana nap under my hoops with a picnic blanket as a pillow - I realise it was sabotage ....... so desperate am I to break free from Data Management I am now going straight to the top. It would seem how ever mad I am, how ever rude I am, however much I tell the world and thier mates I hate everything about my chosen career I end up in the same place, there is always a DM job to fall in. I come back to the UK and I have a job waiting for me take, I make ridiculous demands and a month in they are offering a permanent position. I have just left Australia screaming 'NEVER AGAIN' but here I am. So enough is enough I need to take action. Don't get me wrong - I am very lucky, this I know. But DM is not the job for me and I have been trying to take a different path for quite sometime but all I do is walk along the verge and occasionally stop in at a few of the attractions along the way. Have I been foolish ? Have I shot myself in the foot? or ... Have I taken another step to setting myself free .....I guess time will tell ....
The reason I brought this up is because this Friday we had our works dinner. For some unexplained reason I felt the need make a beeline to the CEO and tell him 1) I am a great manipulator, 2) Sex does sell 3) Buying smart clothes for women is really hard if you have small shoulders and big boobs..... and although I said nothing too vulgar nor swear - I'm sure I said some other awful things whilst his wife practically stood there with her mouth open in shock and some tubby guy almost stood on top of me.
So I ask myself that question - why would I do that??? I have never met him before, he has no idea that I mad but completely harmless yet I make sure that his first impression of me is of such a self centred, opinionated twat he would ask the question 'Why would I want this liability in my company?'. As my hangover well and truly sets in as I drive down the M25 rain pounding on my windscreen I scream 'It's too hard to think about right now' and I tell myself to concentrate on the road, but as I curl up in the back of my car in a random car park on the way to my cousins for a cheeky nana nap under my hoops with a picnic blanket as a pillow - I realise it was sabotage ....... so desperate am I to break free from Data Management I am now going straight to the top. It would seem how ever mad I am, how ever rude I am, however much I tell the world and thier mates I hate everything about my chosen career I end up in the same place, there is always a DM job to fall in. I come back to the UK and I have a job waiting for me take, I make ridiculous demands and a month in they are offering a permanent position. I have just left Australia screaming 'NEVER AGAIN' but here I am. So enough is enough I need to take action. Don't get me wrong - I am very lucky, this I know. But DM is not the job for me and I have been trying to take a different path for quite sometime but all I do is walk along the verge and occasionally stop in at a few of the attractions along the way. Have I been foolish ? Have I shot myself in the foot? or ... Have I taken another step to setting myself free .....I guess time will tell ....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
